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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25119091">Hatred and Fear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Story_Without_Words/pseuds/A_Story_Without_Words'>A_Story_Without_Words</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Penny For Your Thoughts [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depression, F/F, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Character, Romance, Sad, Werewolves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:48:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,840</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25119091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Story_Without_Words/pseuds/A_Story_Without_Words</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The obligatory story where MC is a werewolf and tries to hide it from Penny.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Penny Haywood/Player Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Penny For Your Thoughts [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599250</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hatred and Fear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>AKA: The obligatory story where MC is a werewolf<br/>In a universe where the Halloween side quest took place sometime during or after Year 3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Penny Haywood hated werewolves. She was terrified of them. And who could blame her really? Werewolves were frightening creatures. Dark and vile beasts that preyed on the flesh of unsuspecting humans. In fact, it would be more surprising if Penny Haywood revealed that she wasn’t afraid of them. But her fear of werewolves ran deeper than the simple nature of the creatures. </p><p>It had all happened one summer night between her second and third year at Hogwarts. A tragedy struck that would change her life forever. The Haywood family was spending their usual summer holiday in the countryside, and having begged her parents for weeks on end, Mr. and Mrs. Haywood had allowed Penny’s best friend, Scarlett, a young muggle girl, to accompany them for a week. One night, when the moon was full, Penny and Scarlett encountered a werewolf while exploring the countryside. Unaware of the dangers the beast posed, Scarlett approached out of curiosity, and Penny, frozen with fear, was unable to act in time to save her friend.</p><p>No one else but you knew the full extent of how deep her fear for the creatures ran. It was a secret she had entrusted to you, and you alone. She confided in you, bearing her heart and soul, and you promised you would never betray the trust she had gifted you with. With your support, she chose to carry the burden of those memories, and continued to live in fear of the vile creatures that she witnessed slaughter her friend.</p><p>The bond you shared with Penny strengthened over the following weeks. You had long since abandoned trying to convince yourself you weren’t mad for her. But then again, who wasn’t? But your love for her ran deeper than the shallow crushes others harbored for her. And you couldn’t help but hope that Penny placing her trust in you, and you alone, was perhaps a sign of something more.</p><p>Less than a month after Penny had placed her confidence in you, on the eve of Halloween Hogwarts’ defenses were penetrated by dark forces. It was only by mere coincidence that you and Penny happened to be walking the grounds rather than attending the feast. Strolling along the outer perimeter of the castle, you happened upon a frightful scene. Fenrir Greyback, the infamous werewolf, and a handful of his accomplices had managed to sneak their way onto the castle grounds. Before them lay an unconscious Chiara Lobosca, a werewolf herself. She was covered in dark bruises, blood trailing down her face as she lie facedown on the ground. </p><p>You looked from Chiara’s slumped figure to Penny. She was petrified. The color had complete drained from her face and her eyes wide with terror. Her body was rigid, like someone had cast a full body bind curse upon her, and her breathing was coming in short panicked gasps. You needed to get her out of here, but you couldn’t leave Chiara at the hands of Greyback.</p><p>“Penny.” You said lowly, stepping protectively in front of her. “Run.”</p><p>“B-But… I… I can’t just leave you.” </p><p>“Please, Penny. You need to get out of here.” </p><p>Greyback bared his yellow teeth in a disgustingly sadistic smile. The werewolf on his right took a small step forward. You straightened your arm, wand falling from the inside of your sleeve into your hand.</p><p>“Run! Now!”</p><p>Penny turned and ran back inside the castle, prompting the werewolves to act. One lunged at you, the other at Penny. You cast a quick stunning spell, red light hitting your attacker squarely in the chest, dropping him to the ground. You quickly turned and pointed your wand at the werewolf chasing Penny. In a sharp hooking motion, you pulled the beast back and away from her, and with a flick of your wrist, sent in flying into the castle walls with a sickening crunch. Two down, one to go. But in the next instant you were flat on your back. Your head hid the ground and your vision blurred, but you could feel the hot breath on your face, smell the halitosis and hear the deep laughter. You screamed as two white hot daggers dug into your shoulder, hot blood spilling from the wound. </p><p>You awoke the next morning in the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey rushed over to your bedside to thoroughly examine you. The memories of last night slowly pieced themselves together within your head. Your walk with Penny. Chiara, unconscious on the ground. Fenrir Greyback and… you slowly brought your hand up to your shoulder, hoping, praying that you were mistaken. The familiar feeling of fresh bandages greeted your fingers, and you felt your stomach drop. Last night had been a full moon. Madame Pomfrey gave you an empathetic look. </p><p>“I know things seem grim.” She said. “But lycanthrope is much more manageable nowadays. The Wolfsbane Potion will allow you to maintain control during your transformations…”</p><p>Her voice faded into the background, the pounding of blood filling your ears and drowning out all other noises. Sweat trickled down your cheek. Or was it a tear? Madame Pomfrey’s mouth was still moving, the pounding in your ears was louder than ever, and your forehead was damp with cold sweats. And then you threw up. Right into your lap, a combination of bile and the remnants of yesterday’s lunch. You apologized as the matron magicked away the mess. </p><p>This wasn’t a problem. You’d been through worse. Right? Professor Dumbledore had allowed Chiara to attend Hogwarts, so surely you wouldn’t be expelled. And like Madame Pomfrey had said, Wolfsbane Potion made the transformations manageable. Snape provided Chiara with hers, so surely, he’d do the same for you. And if not Snape, then certainly, Penny would… oh God. Penny. What would she say? What would she think of you now that you were… one of them? </p><p>No sooner had the horrifying realization dawned on you that a tearful Penny ran into the Hospital Wing. She threw herself over your chest, wrapping her arms around you in the tightest hug of your life. Normally the gesture would have been reason for your heart to flutter, but not today. Instead you felt empty. Hollow. A wave of cold dread washed over you that nothing could chase away, not even the warmth of Penny Haywood. For that was the moment you realized one undeniable truth. Penny Haywood hated werewolves. Penny Haywood hated you.</p><p>In the months to come, you distanced yourself from the girl whom you loved with all your heart. Your other friends were kept at arm’s length as well, in fear of someone discovering your secret, and it eventually finding its way back to Penny. Other than Chiara, the only person who knew about your condition was Rowan. Always observant, it didn’t take them long to notice your monthly disappearance. Naturally, they swore to keep your secret. They were kind and offered what help they could; making your excuses and spouting information from the various books they’d read. But even in possession of the knowledge few others had, you felt separated from them. Rowan didn’t understand. No one did. No one could unless they’d experienced it for themselves. </p><p>About five weeks after Halloween, you asked to talk to Penny privately. She had already begun to notice your aloofness, but it was early enough that she didn’t think to mention it. Perhaps you were sorting through some personal issues with your brother. She met you in the artefact room following supper, eager to talk. Were you about to confide in her the same way she had in you earlier in the year? Or were you about to say to her, finally, those words she’d dreamt of for so long. But then you asked her the most peculiar of questions.</p><p>“Penny… do you… do you really hate werewolves?”</p><p>The mention of the fearsome beast sent a chill through her body, which had moments before been hot, caught in a daydream of you confessing your love for her. It was an unwelcome and unpleasant return to reality. And such an odd question.</p><p>“(F/N).” She responded quietly. “You know I don’t like to talk about… that.”</p><p>“Please.” You implored. “I need to know.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Penny. Please.”</p><p>She took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes.” She said.</p><p>“So, you… you don’t think you could ever… be with someone? Who’s a werewolf?”</p><p>“Is this about Chiara?” She asked. “Look, don’t get me wrong. I adore Chiara. She’s an absolutely wonderful person, but… she and I will never be the best of friends. There’s just… there’s too much there.”</p><p>“So, you could never… love someone who’s…”</p><p>“No, (F/N)!” Penny said loudly. She didn’t understand why you insisted on forcing this conversation upon her. You, who knew better than anyone else how deep her fear of werewolves ran. </p><p>You nodded and apologized for bringing up any bad memories. She forgave you. You went your separate ways. And when you were sure she was far away in some other part of the castle, you allowed the tears to begin to fall.</p><p>Over the months, which stretched into years, you grew closer to Chiara. It was only natural. You were, after all, the only two Hogwarts’ students afflicted with this curse. She stayed by your side the entire week preceding your first transformation. Leading you to her favorite spot in the Dark Forest, she held your hand as the silver light of the moon changed you both. And though your mind was lost, some semblance recognized her scent as familiar. A friendly presence. Chiara became your rock. A strong presence for you to lean on. Never inquiring or overbearing. She let you work things out at your own pace. Eventually your condition felt almost normal. It didn’t stop the dread from filling your chest at the approach of every full moon. But it was, at the very least, manageable. With Chiara by your side, you were able to continue walking the halls of Hogwarts, through your third, fourth, fifth year. All the while, sad blue eyes followed you, wondering why you had left her.</p><p>Why did you no longer walk the halls with her? No longer laugh together over meals and whisper while the professors weren’t looking? She longed for the days when she felt your warmth. Longed for the bond you used to share. The light in your eyes and the tenderness of your touch. Had she offended you? Or had she simply been too late in telling you the truth about how she felt? Whatever the reason, she just wished you would talk to her. Or even look at her. But you were distant. Cold. And it broke her heart.</p><p>Two years. Almost two years since she’d last seen you smile. Two years since she’d talked to you. Really talked. And two years is a long time to be without the person you love. And still you pushed her further and further away. She tried to respond in kind. To forget you the same way you seemed to have forgotten her. But absence makes the heart grow fonder. Every day without one another was one filled with darkness.</p><p>Fifth year was the year that finally broke Penny. Beatrice was taken from her and she had nowhere to turn. Her many friends offered their condolences. Empty words from people who could never understand what she was going through. The only person who could relate, the only person that knew her, really knew her, was you. But you were nowhere to be found. Alone and afraid, she found herself hiding in the artefact room, makeup running as tears streaked down her porcelain cheeks. It had become a common routine. This room of lost memories a safe haven where she could allow herself to truly feel without fear of being judged. </p><p>She heard the door open and quickly tried to compose herself. Her attempts were in vain. There was no hiding the running of her makeup. No hiding the redness of her eyes and nose. She braced herself for the ridicule. For the pity. But when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, felt the strong arms envelope her in a warm embrace, she allowed herself to cry. Burying herself deep in the hold of whomever had come. And through her tears, she recognized the familiar scent. Your scent. That was the moment she realized one undeniable truth. If she needed you. When she needed you. You would be there. Always.</p><p>It didn’t matter how much time had passed. It didn’t matter how much distance separated you. She could always rely on you to be her stronghold. Her rock. And when the curse was broken and Beatrice was rescued, she believed that you would be there. You weren’t. As far as you were concerned your work was done. Beatrice was safely in Penny’s arms and there was no need for you to continue endangering her with your presence.</p><p>The Hogwarts Express delivered you all unto Platform 9 and ¾, and you took your leave not even bothering to say goodbye. Her parents were so relieved to see Beatrice safe. They wrapped their arms around their youngest daughter, meanwhile Penny watched your back as you disappeared through the barrier without so much as a backward glance. Her summer was spent in lonely isolation as she sat cross legged in the middle of her bed surrounded by mementos of your time spent together. Treasured possessions that spoke of your friendship and the strong bond the two of you had formed. A picture of the two of you at the Celestial Ball. A silver bracelet she had received from you one birthday. A potioneer kit which she reserved for only the potions she deemed worthy. And stacks upon stacks of bits of parchment. Letters you’d written each other over the summers and small notes stealthily passed beneath the watchful gazes of your professors. </p><p>She longed for those days. Your warm hugs and bright smile. But the ease of familiarity seemed lost now. Every day she felt more and more like a stranger to you. You, who knew her better than anyone else. So why did you act like you didn’t? Her fingers ghosted across the ink that spelled your name, and she couldn’t help but wonder where it had all gone wrong.</p><p>The bright ray of sunshine that was Penny Haywood didn’t return to Hogwarts for her sixth year, replaced instead by a heavy overcast, silent and depressed. She had difficulty finding a reason to smile nowadays. Those she once called friends did their best to lift her spirits. Her many suitors showering her in affections, mystery parcels from secret admirers dropped on the table during breakfast. Their gifts remained unopened; her sad eyes solely fixed on your figure across the Great Hall. For Penny Haywood, it all paled in comparison to the memories of you to which she so desperately clung.</p><p>Friday, November 2nd. She was out past curfew, wandering the halls of the now empty castle. It had become a routine for her. She couldn’t sleep, her dreams filled with haunting visions of you telling her you hated her, or else some other horrific reason why you no longer spoke to her. Walking down the corridors on the lower east floor, she glimpsed another lonely figure wandering the halls. She recognized those features. Their height and stature, and the (H/C) illuminated by the light of the rising full moon.</p><p>“(F/N)?” She nearly whispered.</p><p>You turned at the sound of your name and seeing the girl you loved standing there staring at you, you turned and ran.</p><p>“(F/N)!” She shouted, completely ignoring the risk of being caught breaking curfew. “(F/N), please wait!”</p><p>Not now. Why did it have to be now? She was in danger so long as she was near you. You rounded a corner and threw yourself into an empty classroom, locking the door behind you. You had only four minutes before the full moon would rise fully into the night sky. You felt the door handle rattle as from the other side Penny tried desperately to open it. </p><p>And then you heard her voice once more.</p><p>“(F/N)?” It asked.</p><p>The voice, it didn’t come from behind the door. It came from behind you. And it was fearful. Terrified. You abandoned your post at the door and turned to see a faux Penny staring at you, eyes full of fright.</p><p>“What… what happened to you?” It asked, voice thick with dread. “Y-You’re a monster.”</p><p>You took a step towards her.</p><p>“No.” You whispered. “No, Penny. I won’t hurt you. I promise.”</p><p>“Stay away from me!” She shouted, stumbling backwards. </p><p>You reached out longingly for her, but the terrified shriek that came from her voice caused you to stop.</p><p>“Don’t touch me!” She shouted, drawing her wand on you.</p><p>The door behind you was flung open, Penny having been able to successfully cast Alohamora without you holding it shut from the other side. She opened her mouth to say something but was stunned silent by the sight before her. You took advantage of her momentary pause and ran from the room as fast as you could, sprinting towards the dark forest. </p><p>The Boggart vanished in a poof of smoke, disappearing once more into the dark cabinet it called its home. And Penny stood in tears. Why was she your worst fear? What had she done to earn such contempt?</p><p>The other students took notice of the change in Penny’s demeanor. She was gloomier than ever. Her hair was disheveled and her eyes puffy and red. It seemed like not a single day passed when she didn’t disappear to the loo at least three times a day, nose running and eyes red. And they all asked themselves what could have happened to turn Hogwarts’ ray of sunshine into a such a dark storm cloud?</p><p>“You’re hurting her, you know.” Rowan said one day.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Penny.” They said. “Don’t pretend like you haven’t noticed.”</p><p>“What about Penny?”</p><p>“Don’t give me that.” They sighed. “I talked to Tonks. Apparently, Penny spends every night crying herself to sleep. Because of you. I know you think you’re protecting her, but you’re not. You’re just hurting her even more.”</p><p>You sat on your bed in stunned silence. You’d noticed the change in Penny. You noticed everything about Penny. But was it really you? Did you really mean this much to her?</p><p>“It’s better this way.” You said. “She’s got plenty of other friends. She doesn’t need me.” </p><p>“Do you really believe that?” Rowan asked. “Haven’t you noticed she’s been getting worse and worse ever since third year? She misses you. And I know you miss her.” </p><p>“She’ll move on.”</p><p>Rowan scoffed. “You know, if you were a real friend, you’d man up and come clean, otherwise she’s just going to end up hating you.”</p><p>“Then she hates me.” You said indifferently.</p><p>“And you’re okay with that?” Rowan asked incredulously. “Do you have any idea how much what you’re doing has hurt her? Honestly, do you even care about Penny at all?”</p><p>“Don’t you dare.” You said loudly, rising to your feet. “Don’t you dare question how much I care about Penny. I love her. I love her more than anything. Pushing her away has been the most difficult thing in my life. Losing her has been more painful than losing Jacob.”</p><p>“Then why do you keep driving her away?”</p><p>“Because she hates me!” You shouted. “She just doesn’t know it yet. Don’t you know how she feels about… about people like me? I’m a monster. And if she knew. If she knew she’d never look at me the same.”</p><p>“You’re so afraid that she hates you, but you don’t even know how she’d respond.”</p><p>“Yes, I do.” You said tearfully. “I know because I already asked. She said she could never love a werewolf. Which means she could never love me.” </p><p>Rowan scoffed and shook their head. “I don’t understand you.” They said. “So, you’d rather she hate you for good, than take the small chance that she doesn’t accept you?”</p><p>“Yes.” You say firmly. “A million times, yes. And that’s what you’ll never understand. Because you think the worst thing that happens is, she ends up hating me forever. But you’re wrong. Given the choice, I will take her hatred of me over her fear of me every time.  Better she hate me for the person she thinks I am… than fear me for the monster I’ve become.” </p><p>Sunday, December 2nd. Snow had begun to cover the castle grounds. The Dark Forest was colder than ever. Even beneath your dark coat, the chilled air bit at your skin, fur matted with cold sleet and snow. This was the one thing you hated about the Wolfsbane Potion. You were grateful for its existence, but its miraculous properties came at a price. The transformation was painful. Normally for a werewolf, the mind is the first thing to go, losing all higher function and replaced with nothing but beastly instincts. The barbaric mind of a werewolf didn’t feel the pain of the transformation. But a human mind registered every second. The feeling of your bones growing, tearing at the muscles and tendons, stabbing at your flesh from the inside until our skin painfully stretched to accommodate. The bones in your hands and feet splintered as large claws pushed through your fingernails and toenail, and your gums bleed as more teeth erupted through the tissue, filling your mouth with small daggers. The morning transformations were just as painful as the nighttime ones. Skin shrinking before the bones, like a tent canvas stretched over the posts that supported it. It was excruciatingly painful, but still preferable to the alternative.</p><p>The holiday season was fast approaching. Soon it would be Christmas, and before anyone knew it, 1990 would come to a close. Penny had done much thinking in the past two months. It had been three years. Three lonely years since she lost you. After many tearful late-night conversations with Tonks, Penny decided that she would not endure a fourth. New years meant new beginnings. A new chapter. Or, if she got her wish, a return to an old one. She was determined to make it so. She wrote home to her parents informing them she would be remaining at Hogwarts for the holidays. She would ring in the new year with the person that meant the most to her.</p><p>She spread word amongst your friends that there would be a party. A festival with decorative streamers and glistening lights. A midnight blue theme with shimmering stars enchanted to twinkle like the night sky. And she would wear a fabulous pearl white blouse and a canary yellow dress perfect for twirling. And together you would recreate the perfect night the two of you once shared. To remind you of the strong bond you once had. It would work. It had to. Otherwise, she didn’t know what she would do.</p><p>She tracked you down two days before the 31st, cornering you in the artefact room and refusing to allow you to leave. She said there would be a New Years Eve party, and she said that you would be there.</p><p>“I can’t.” You said simply.</p><p>Her eyes almost instantly filled with tears. You looked away.</p><p>“Why not?” She asked, fighting to keep her voice steady.</p><p>“I just can’t.”</p><p>You brushed your index finger along her cheek, wiping away the tear that had fallen from her eye. Gently, you held her cheek, and she leaned into your warm touch.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” You said. You moved past her and reached for the door, but her hand on your arm stropped you.</p><p>“Please, (F/N).” She whispered. “What happened to us? What did I do to make you hate me?”</p><p>You breathed heavily and dropped your shoulders. “You’ve got it backwards. It’s got nothing to do with anything you’ve done. It’s what I’ve become.”</p><p>You opened the door and were about to leave when she spoke one last time.</p><p>“I love you.” She said softly. “No matter what you’ve become, I will always love you.”</p><p>You opened your mouth to respond but she stopped you.</p><p>“Don’t say anything.” She said. “Just… just be there. Be there, with me, at the start of the new year, and I’ll know you love me too. And if you’re not, then… then I’ll know you don’t.”</p><p>You closed your eyes and walked away, leaving Penny once more. You wished with all your heart you could be with her. You loved her more than anything. But she would spend New Years by herself. And so would you. For December 31st was another full moon.</p><p>She waited with bated breath in the empty classroom. Her heart jumped into her throat every time another guest walked through the door, always hoping it was you. Always left disappointed. 10:30. 11:00. 11:30. She never gave up hope. She knew you would be there. She knew because it was the one undeniable truth that she clung on to ever since she’d confided her deepest fear in you all those years ago. If she needed you. When she needed you. You would be there. Always.</p><p>The room began the countdown. One minute till midnight. Thirty seconds. Ten, nine, eight. Her eyes lingered on the door. Seven, six, five, four. Any second now. Three. You were cutting it awfully close. Two. But you always did like to make a grand entrance, showing up at just the last second, ready to save the day. One.</p><p>All around her people cheered and hugged. They set off loud bangs with their wands, shooting sparks into the air. Reds and purples and everything in between. And amongst the cheering crowd Penny Haywood collapsed on the floor. Her dress made for twirling pooled around her as tears fell freely from her eyes. Her whole world came crashing down around her. The one comforting truth to which she had so desperately clung to for the past six years shattered to a million pieces. She needed you, now more than ever. And you were nowhere to be found.</p><p>She felt someone gently grab her beneath the arms and lift her to her feet. They helped her from the room, leaving the still cheering crowd behind them, the festive noises dying as the door swung shut behind them.</p><p>“Rowan?” She asked tearfully as her bespectacled friend guided her down the corridors.</p><p>“Come with me.” They said.</p><p>“Just let me go.” She sobbed. “Leave me alone.”</p><p>“I can’t do that.” They said. </p><p>They walked in silence for another ten minutes, through the entrance hall and out the grand double doors that closed the castle to the outside. Rowan conjured up some magical flames to keep them warm as snow fell from the heavens.</p><p>“Where are you taking me?” She asked as they neared the Whomping Willow.       </p><p>“There’s something you need to see.”</p><p>With a flick of their wand, Rowan caused a fallen branch to prod a notch just at the base of the sentient tree. The limbs suddenly went limp, snow falling from its branches. They guided her to the base of the tree and cleared away a pile of snow, revealing what appeared to be a creature’s den which Penny had never even known existed.</p><p>“W-What is this?” She asked, still wiping tears from her eyes.</p><p>They said nothing, instead nodding towards the burrow. She gave them a confused look but got on her hands and knees to look inside. What she saw stunned her. What she had initially took for an animal’s nest turned out to be a long, narrow passage. It seemed to stretch for miles. She looked up to ask Rowan where it led, but they were already headed back towards the castle.</p><p>Staring back down the hole, she began to crawl. The earth was cold beneath her now dirt covered hands. Even in the tunnel, cooled by the winter earth, she had begun to sweat. Part of her thought it best to turn back around, but something more powerful kept her pressing forwards. Rowan wouldn’t have brought her here if it weren’t important. And she could tell there was something waiting for her on the other side. The ceiling of the passage eventually rose, giving her room to crouch, and eventually stand. After what felt like an hour, she came face to face with an old wooden door. From somewhere behind it she could hear the feint sounds of movement. She hadn’t even touched the door when it opened ominously with an eerie creek.</p><p>Peering inside she saw walls of old rotted wood and moldy furniture. The windows were thick with dust and the paint was peeling from the walls. If she wasn’t quite mistaken, she was inside the Shrieking Shack. A loud crash from the floor above caused her to jump. Fear gripped at her chest, and she was about to turn and run from whatever creature was causing the noise when something caught her eye. A splash of color, out of place amongst the splintered wood and cobwebs. It was a vase of flowers. Lilacs. Her favorite. Alive and thriving, and based on the vibrancy of their color, freshly watered. </p><p>Penny took a cautious step inside and scanned the room. The couch in the middle of the room, though dusty, looked as if it had been sat in recently. On the table next to it was an empty goblet. Picking it up, Penny carefully examined it. It carried the lingering scent of whatever it had once held. She could have sworn she recognized the scent. Carefully setting it back down, she turned and saw a set of Hogwarts robes hanging on a hook on the door.</p><p>More movement from upstairs. Palms sweaty, she slowly began making her way up the stairs, fingers tightly gripping her wand. She opened the door a crack, peering into the room. It seemed empty, nothing but a dusty old bed and a couple of pictures of… her? Abandoning all caution, she fully opened the door. Her eyes quickly scanned the room, gaze lingering on the framed photographs in their carefully polished frames. A picture from Christmas three years ago. At the Celestial Ball. On an ancient desk there were scattered bits of parchment. Letters which she didn’t bother to read and… sketches? Several scraps of paper bearing her resemblance. She picked up one of the drawings, fingers delicately brushing over the dried ink. It was so lifelike. From the fullness of her lips to the fragile shading around her eyes. Each stroke had been done with precision, bringing to life an image more beautiful than the one she saw when she looked in the mirror. Who saw her this way?</p><p>She set the picture down and was just about to reach for one of the letters when she heard rustling coming from what she imagined was the closet. She whipped around and pointed her wand at the sliding doors. Slowly approaching, she carefully reached out and grabbed the handle, throwing the door open. What she saw hiding inside caused her to stumble backwards. Her screams of terror caught in her throat. She couldn’t make a sound. She closed her eyes and shielded her face with her hands, preparing to be torn limb from limb. But the seconds passed, and nothing happened.</p><p>She slowly opened her eyes and looked at the werewolf huddled inside the closet. It seemed afraid of her. More afraid than she was of it. How odd. Its body quivered as it quietly whimpered. She slowly stood to her feet and, summoning all her courage, she took a step towards it. The werewolf watched her with apprehensive eyes. She took another step, and it turned its back to her, hiding its face in the wall, covering itself with its long arms as it whimpered louder.</p><p>Something clicked in Penny’s mind. The lilacs. The pictures and drawings. The smell from the goblet which she now recognized as Wolfsbane Potion. Still with her eyes on the werewolf, she returned to the desk and began to examine the letters. Each roll of parchment was covered top to bottom in what she recognized as her own handwriting, every single one signed, All my love, Penny.</p><p>There was only one person she wrote that too. And that’s when she remembered. Three years ago, you had begun pushing her away. Right after Halloween. After Greyback.</p><p>“(F/N)?”</p><p>You tried to shrink yourself further, bringing your knees up to your chest and burring your monstrous face in your arms. You shuffled deeper into the closet, behind the half-opened door to shield yourself from her view.</p><p>The door slowly slid open. You closed your eyes, ready to hear the words fall from Penny’s mouth. Words of hatred and fear and disgust. Words that shaped your nightmares and haunted you behind closed eyes. But they never came. Instead you felt her small hand on your shoulder.</p><p>“It is you. Isn’t it?”</p><p>You slowly turned your head and for the first time in years your eyes met with hers. Shining brilliantly, even in the darkness, and the most beautiful of blues you had ever seen. </p><p>“Oh my God.” She whispered.</p><p>There it was. The thing you’d dreaded most of all. Your greatest fear. Her fear. Her fear of you. You scurried out of the closet and over to the other side of the room, hiding yourself in the corner, trying to make yourself small enough so she couldn’t see you.</p><p>Penny looked around the room, eyes filling with tears. Finally, she understood. She understood why you had been so distant. She understood your Boggart wasn’t her, but the way she might look at you. She understood why you had asked her that question you had all those years ago. </p><p>“So, you could never… love someone who’s…”</p><p>“No, (F/N)!”</p><p>“Oh my God.” She said again. “Oh my God. (F/N), I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>She walked up behind you and gave you a hug from behind, her tears streaking down her face and dampening your fur.</p><p>“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” She cried. “All this time. All this time you thought you were a monster. That I couldn’t love you. I’m so sorry. I should have known.”</p><p>You slowly turned and she pressed her forehead against your snout.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” She cried over and over again. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Light was beginning to slowly pour in through the windows. The full moon was sinking behind the horizon. Penny had her arms wrapped around your neck, crying into your fur which slowly turned to human skin. And for some reason, this time, the transformation didn’t hurt.</p><p>Without the strength of the wolf, Penny’s weight caused you to fall backwards. She collapsed on top of you and pressed her lips against yours.</p><p>“I love you, (F/N).” She cried. “I will always love you. No matter what.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>November 2nd, December 2nd, and December 31st were all actually Full Moons in the year 1990 in Scotland</p></blockquote></div></div>
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